This Brondell Swash 1000 ($599 at Brondell.com) will wash your private parts with warm water - it comes with a special tank for it. You can also adjust the stainless steel nozzles, water and seat temperature, water pressure and air dryer. There's an oscillating "massage" feature, too. Ooh la la!

Its lid opens and closes automatically. It flushes and deodorizes on its own. It will wash and dry your bottom. And, it even plays music. Enter, the INAX Integrated Toilet ($4,800 to $7,350 at INAX-USA.com), one of the coolest toilets ever.

This Sun-Mar Compact Composting Toilet ($1,699.99 at Amazon.com) is eco-friendly. It turns human waste into safe fertilizing soil.

This TOTO Neorest 550 ($5,460 to $6,280 at TOTOUSA.com) has a cyclone automatic flushing system, an energy saver timer, a built-in air purifying system, a warm air dryer, a programmable nightlight and a remote control to do it all.

This electric Thetford Tecma X-Light Carbon Fiber Head ($10,799 at WestMarine.com) is ideal for racing sailboats. The lightweight potty features an automatic programmable flush cycle that will prevent it from flushing when the tank is full.

This COCO 9500X Bidet ($989 at BioLifeTechnologies.com) will provide your bum with never-ending warm water. This bidet will heat the water instantly while staying energy efficient. It also comes with massage, pulsation and kids functions, as well as an enema option.

This Duravit Starck 3 SensoWash Shower Toilet Seat ($1,895; visit Duravit.com for stores) comes with a remote control and night light. Adjust water, air and seat surface temperature, as well as nozzle position and jet strength for cleaning your you-know-what.

This wall-mounted Neo-Metro miniLoo Toilet ($1,210 to $1,794; visit Neo-Metro.com for stores) is designed for small spaces. It looks so futuristic with its stainless steel design.

The electric Jabsco Lite Flush 12V Toilet with Footswitch ($469.88 at BerachaTech.com) promises not to clog with its waste macerating pump driven by 240 watts.

The SpaLoo Bidet Primus Electronic Toilet Seat with Remote Control ($458 at Amazon.com) comes with a handheld, wall-mountable remote control that adjusts water pressure, as well as water, air and seat temperature.